I’m not sure if it’s just me, or if there was something in the air/water 9–10 months ago, but I know several women who are due, or who have recently had a baby. Congratulations to you all, and welcome to the club if this is your first child! Even if this is not your first, you know that there is so much happening that at times you may feel like your head is spinning. Your body is disproportioned, bloated. Your hormones are going crazy. You can’t fit into any of your clothes, pregnancy nor pre-pregnancy (that’s ok, just wear your pajamas, no one will care).
Fortunately you have this precious little life that is yours to love, cherish and protect. People come to visit and you describe what a perfect angel she is, she sleeps all the time and never, ever cries. One evening she starts crying, and none of your normal soothing techniques helps, it lasts for what seems like hours, but is really 30 minutes. Next night the same, but longer. Next night the same, but even longer. What is going on? She must be sick or in pain so you bring her in to see the pediatrician. She’s growing normally, eating well and gaining weight appropriately. She’s happy and cooing the remainder of the day. No signs of an infection. No source for possible pain. No unusual medical conditions that might contribute to this unprecedented crying. The working diagnosis: Infantile Colic.
Having a diagnosis presumes that your baby actually has a medical problem, but what if I told you that this is not a medical condition at all, but rather, a developmental stage — The Period of Purple Crying. The fact that this is a period should be very reassuring because it implies that this is a time frame that has a beginning and (blissfully) an end. The term PURPLE is not used because of the color your baby becomes while crying inconsolably, but is an acronym for:
P — Peak of Crying — usually starts after 2 weeks of age and peaks around 2 months. The crying gets worse, peaks, then decreases and ultimately resolves.
U — Unexpected — Like I said, she never did this before
R — Resists Soothing — You’ve tried everything! White noise, the swing, car rides, a different pacifier, you’ve modified your diet or changed formulas.
P — Pain-Like Face — So heart wrenching!
L — Long Lasting — anywhere from 30–45 minutes to up to 5 hours!!
E — Evening — usually late afternoon or early evening
I want to reinforce that all babies go through this stage, but some are worse than others, and others are even more markedly worse than that. Even though the doctor says he is fine, how do we really know that he is not sick? It’s important to recognize that this is a pattern of behavior. If your boo was really sick there would be other symptoms like diarrhea, vomiting, fever, cough, snot, decreased feeding, and the behavior would be persistent throughout the complete 24 hour day. Always rule out a serious medical condition before accepting that your infant is in the Period of Purple Crying.
If you have a baby whose crying is more severe than most, what do you do? There are many soothing techniques and they include, but are not limited to:
Carry your baby
Make eye contact
Skin to skin contact
Talk, sing, or hum
Breastfeed
Gently rock your baby
Other motion like a car ride, swing, or walk in a stroller
Enlist dad’s help!!!
The most important thing to watch is your frustration level and avoid any negative consequences. You are in a period of sleep deprivation and hormonal imbalance, coupled with this little love who seems to be incredibly unhappy. The perfect storm for Shaken Baby Syndrome. If you’ve done everything and little man still won’t stop crying, it is ok to put him down, safely on his back, in his crib or bassinet and WALK AWAY! Take 5 minutes, have a glass of water, take 10 deep, slow breaths and then return with full on positivity and try again. Be sure to let other caregivers know about what is going on so you don’t risk them shaking your baby in frustration. Let them know that you are available and they should call you if they have any concerns at all about your infant’s crying.
I went to medical school, I’ve read, and still do, every chance I get, I’ve done hours of continuing education, and never heard of this phenomena until six months ago. It was discussed during the first class of the Family Sleep Institute, Pediatric Sleep Consultant Training Course. My first child was an intense crier. I truly came to understand what brings a relatively sane person to the brink of shaking an infant. I suspect I was also an intense crier as my mom would often jokingly tell friends and family that I cried so much that one day she threw me across the room. Luckily the bassinet was in the right place, at the right time to break my fall. I never found this story amusing. Now I get it. I want you to get it, too. It is not your fault, you are not a bad parent, and studies show that this will not affect your child’s chances in the future. You just have to get through it. Period.
Intense criers are at increased risk for sleep problems in the future as they often do not learn to self soothe. As a retired Pediatrician and a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant I am especially trained to help families guide their child on the path toward more restful and consolidated sleep. When your baby sleeps, so do you. If you or someone you know has a child who has difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, send me an email to kidsleepfxr@gmail.com and we can set up a FREE 15 minute Introductory Call. Together, we can find a way help you and your child get some quality sleep.
Renee Grob, MD, CPSC
Dr. Kidfixer. Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant …and Dream Maker
kidsleepfxr@gmail.co
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